I took my brother and sister to the zoo yesterday. There was a botanical garden, a house of butterflies, and themed areas of animals. As we walked through all of these places. My attention was drawn to the people as they walked by. People asking why the animals weren’t doing anything, that the plants were pretty but it was too humid in the gardens.
“Look, Look! The Gorilla is drinking water!”
I began to have an out of body experience. I was watching myself walk through this place, watching the animals, watching the plants, the flowers. Suddenly so conscious of them living in these perfectly kept containers. I was the human, and animals. The human, and the flowers. Realizing how we cage living beings to watch their habits, to watch them exist. To watch them be. How bizarre can it get. This is our idea of a Sunday out with the family?!
Let’s go out and watch nature be…
We keep it at a safe distance, we want to be entertained….but not feel threatened. Not overtaken by the experience of it all.
We like the flowers, and the trees, and the waterfalls…but keep it in a perfectly manicured setting. Empty out the stream, and fill it with pretty Koi fish.
Nature on our terms. Nature in our parameters. As if we are separate from nature. As if with each piece of nature we colonize, and force to submit beneath our heal. We do not in turn force a piece of ourselves to heal. A piece of our inherent being, a piece that we never even had a chance to tap into before it was whittled into imprisoned manageability. Held prisoner in some deep recess of our being. I believe as a collective we long to connect, we long to be full expressions of ourselves. We search it out in reality shows, in live streaming. We all line up to see the rare animal of authenticity, and raw human expression. We’ve branded the authentic and slapped a ticket price on it’ s back. Maybe we don’t want to actually BE in an authentic state? Maybe we just want to watch it, act it, and search for it.
Dissecting the being, and living the act.
As I watch how we have split from nature I see the varying expressions of this shadow. This imbalance.
There’s the members of our society that are easily labelled environmental criminals. The logging companies, the frackers, the big fishing companies etc etc. The people that just don’t give a fuck about their impact on their environment, they throw their trash on the ground. Completely disconnected from the fact that Earth is all we got in all of space, if she goes down. So do we…
My bad! We have mars. Right? When we’ve raped Earth we can just go rape Mars. By the time that happens, we’ll have another planet!
Ahhh! This drives me crazy!!!
On the entirely other end of the spectrum are environmental angels. With each tree that gets torn open with the saw, and micro organism that is sacrificed so we can continue to have packaged fish sticks and sashimi on our plate in a timely fashion. A little piece of these angels dies away, a little knick marks their hearts. Which I found so enduring & inspiring until I met a message from the universe.
I met this lovely soul one night while I was watching the sun set on a pier in Dublin. He was so sweet, and went on to tell me that he wanted to spread the gospel of veganism. I loved to see his passion for his truth, his heart message pouring through with such intensity. As one meeting turned into two. I found myself telling him about my pets. I have the sweetest Chiweenie named China, and a Ball Python named Seraph. They are my loves. Which for him was all well and good until he asked how I feed her. I told him the truth. I feed my snake live mice, she hasn’t ever taken a frozen mouse. So many went to waste from just sitting in her terrarium. I went on to tell him, I do it as humanely as I have learned. Which is to give them a seizure, so their brain functions are out of commission while she constricts them. My snake gets fed, and the mouse has a quick transition.
Well…his eyes glazed over. He went somewhere else entirely. As he came back from his little anorgasmic death, he went on to tell me about his habits of saving squirrels that have been ran over. He had brought one to the vet, only to have the vet tell him that rigor mortis had set in. He was distraught wondering if he would have just given the squirrel CPR when he had first found him, if he would still be alive. I asked him when all of this started for him, and he answered…
“I have always been connected to nature”
This statement hit me. I was so fucking heated inside. I didn’t even know why at first. As I made my way back to the house I was staying. Wandering along the quiet cobblestone street, illuminated with the light of the moon.
It hit me!
Connected to nature?!
Have you ever spent time in nature and seen kid gloves, rainbows and bunnies just being all picturesque and fairytale like?!
I don’t know about you, but when I go out into nature. I see a beautiful spectrum of existence, an intricate and intelligent web of death giving way to life giving way to death. Without death the area is over run and this imbalance creates a disharmony leading to a decay which halts harmonic rebirth and new growth in the area.
Nature is the greatest teacher of the natural transition that we call death.
Of course if we are out of balance with our inherent nature, death is fucking terrifying! It is this end. Without connection to our nature, we are only what we are now. We can be nothing else, have been nothing else, and will be nothing else. The squirrel is only the squirrel, and now it is dead. Rather than the squirrel is itself, and it is it’s environment. He is the crow’s nourishment, and the soil’s nourishment. Just as the fallen leaf becomes the tree once again as it is digested by the roots and continues the cycle of new life blooming from the tree.
In our nature we ARE in this moment all that is and ever will be.
Nature burns, rages, and shakes down the old. Just as completely as the April showers lightly mist down onto the rebirth of the seeds, and the gentle ocean waves kiss the shore. Nature is genderless, pure being. Being your mother, your father, your child, your sister. So completely you. You are in the decay, the hunter in the night sinking your teeth into the throat of the elk. Yet so purely the leaf dancing at the end of a branch in the breeze. So completely the elk falling in submission as your blood pours from the mouth of the lion under the glow of the moon.
You are the moon.
I feel like I’m getting off track, and I’m beginning to sound like I’m on a hallucinogenic rant….I kind of am, sans the hallucinogens. I think, I can’t remember 😉 In the end I feel that in both the outward colonization. The parasitical devouring of nature. As well as the save every branch, every organism approach. There are shadows. When you colonize, and manicure it all, when there is no natural air to breath, then what? Where are you running to? When you saved everyone, and we are overrun with life and the earth tilts under the weight of it all. Then what?
When I say nature, I don’t just mean the trees and the animals. I also mean us. Our own nature. Our wildness, our animal. Our full spectrum of being. We have chased the civilized, the purity, the good, the light. While condemning our instincts, our rawness, our hunter, our roots, our ecstatic.
The priestess, the healer, the medicine women in the shadows is the whore, the witch, the demoness. The warrior, the hunter in the shadows is the rapist, the criminal. Our ancestors once strengthened and honored for their ongoing wisdom and power. Are now grieved, and forgotten. Left to exist in the barren between world, starving.
We are nature, we are the seasons, we are the cycles. Just as this cycle in which we now reside is needed to birth the next.
That burning feeling you feel within, of change, of transition. Maybe even a dread of something to come. An apocalypse, an end. Is that sweet spot of transition to a coming season.
What will it be…What will it bring?
You. Beautiful being are an intricate part of the very fabric of all of nature. Just as the sun brings itself to shine, and the moon comes to her glow every eve. You too are called to listen to that stirring deep within you.
Where are you being called, and how?
What is coming into being within you?
You are the change you long to see, you are the holder of the experience you long to find. Speak your heart, sing your soul. As your purpose resides in your being flowing from you, unadulterated. Untitled, and packaged. It doesn’t need to be explained, or fit. It already is, as it has been seeded within you since time began.
We have all been waiting for you.